This month I celebrate a decade of being in private practice. I’m astounded that such time has passed and humbled by all that I’ve learned (and unlearned) in this time.
I’m reminded of my child self, who was gifted with an extraordinary experience that awakened my inner therapist.
I was eight years old and my elementary school started a peer support program. Kids in the upper three grades were chosen to be Conflict Resolution Officers; tasked with mediating arguments on the playground and offering emotional support where needed. I was selected as one of the youngest and although I don’t remember anything about the process, I very much remember the red jacket that I was given to wear. I felt so official and so important and as if this jacket came with a great responsibility, which I was so ready to meet head on.
At that age, I remember the joy I felt from having a purpose on the playground. I was an extremely shy child and being a foot taller than everyone, with bright red glasses, and short hair certainly didn’t help my cause. But when I had my red jacket on, I stepped into a part of myself that I had never accessed before. I remember asking if adults did this job as well and what they were called. “I want to be a therapist,” was my very next thought.
I count myself blessed and lucky to have found my calling when I was just a wee one. I struggled through my middle school and high school years, not truly excelling at anything in particular. Once I started college and could choose my path of learning, I blossomed and couldn’t get enough. I went straight from undergrad into grad school and straight from grad school into licensure.
I was petrified to hang my shingle and open my private practice but I reminded myself over and over again that “if your dream doesn’t terrify you, your dream isn’t big enough.”
My style as a therapist has evolved over these years, but I still hold the hands of my younger selves, who inform me along the journey. My young adult self who wants to take every single class and read every single book; my adolescent self who has an insatiable curiosity and wants to understand how everything fits together and why it fits in a certain way; and my child self, who is gentle and compassionate and wants to hold your feelings with you.
I’m so grateful for everyone that I’ve worked with over this past decade and am so honored by their bravery and vulnerability. Every day I watch people slay anxiety dragons and escape trauma traps and I witness them transform. They heal not only themselves, but send that healing to their past generations and forward to the ones that have yet to be created. Thank you for letting me witness and be part of such deep magic.
